Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
