He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
