Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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