I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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