Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
