I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
