I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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