Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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