youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
