Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
