It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
