Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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