I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
