i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
