i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
