hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
