this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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