do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
