how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
