So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
