The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
