glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
