apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
