eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
