i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
