32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
