Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The Olympian is in my bed
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
