youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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