Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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