It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
