had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
