You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
