Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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