What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
