If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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