I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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