Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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