I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
high people should be assigned attendants
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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