I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
