His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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