id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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