Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
