I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
