Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
