Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
