New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
