You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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