i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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