then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
