I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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