If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
